A comprehensive list of people I hate.

A comprehensive list of people I hate.

I started writing this list a few months ago, and every time I come back to it, it blows out by another 20 items or so. There seems to be no end to the parade of irritating, shallow, slack-jawed cretins that parade themselves through my days like Thai whores for sale. I think they're all very self-explanatory. Some people who have read the below list disagree. They say there is little reason and absolutely no sense to the way I think. If this is you, I cordially invite you to break your own spine with a toffee hammer and keep your feckless opinions to yourself in future.

Below is the original list, around 40. I hope one day to make 1000. Additions will be posted later.

#1 A man who conducts loud foreign language conversations on a bus
#2 Anyone with big lips who speaks French.
#3 An obese Asian child who collects tokens from chip packets and plays games with them
#4 A schoolchild with a visible deformity
#5 Any techno-dick who carries more than 2 small noisy electronic devices.
#6 A porn actress with unerect nipples
#7 A journalist who only 'drinks sensibly'
#8 Anyone over the age of 16 who still works in a fast-food dive
#9 A drunk homeless woman who interrupts your date
#10 A tradesman who has more dandruff than concrete dust on his shirt

#11 Anyony studying to become a homeopath, seer, crystal gazer or chakra balancer
#12 A woman with much too much advice.
#13 A middle-aged fat man in a new pastel designer shirt
#14 An Asian clerk who won't talk
#15 Any old person who mentions 'The War', regardless of which
#16 Anyone who begins every sentence with "Well, ya know..."
#17 A teenager who says "like" more than fourteen times in a single sentence
#18 A radio announcer with bad grammar
#19 Anyone who calls a talk-back radio show
#20 Any black man who desparately wants to be white

#21 Any white man who desparately wants to be black
#22 Anyone in a wheelchair with bumber stickers
#23 A builder with a packet of smokes rolled into his shirt-sleeve
#24 Anyone who has been described on late-night television as a 'fitness expert'
#25 A man who tries to read off my pad when I'm writing in public. You can see this, can't you. Stop staring, you obdurate cunt!
#26 Any white man with a perm
#27 A newsreader who can't pronounce simple foreign names
#28 A newsreader who can't pronounce complicated foreign names.
#29 Any fat woman on a train who 'knows Jesus'
#30 An old man who drives a good car badly

#31 An urban mother who drives a vehicle heavier than two metric tons
#32 A child with a 'learning disorder'
#33 Anyone who worships a random minor literary figure to be 'different'
#34 Anyone who thinks dolphins are 'special'
#35 Any young girl in more than two cubic inches of make-up
#36 An ugly gay man in a "Princess" t-shirt
#37 A lesbian with an ammunition box handbag
#38 A cripple who stands in the geometric centre of an elevator
#39 A very fat man in a very small car
#40 A receptionist who doesn't like anyone, ever

#41 Anyone who has ever described a set of colours as "warm tones"
#42 A dentist with enormous hands
#43 Any teenage goth who writes poetry
#44 Anyone who knows a teenage goth who writes poetry and hasn't disfigured them yet
#45 An ugly woman who lies in an internet personals ad

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